Sefton Taxis

Kev knows how lo live life on the wild side.
February 26, 2005, 2:21 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Kev knows how lo live life on the wild side.


Snell’s Taxisms
February 25, 2005, 9:07 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Alphaninism= A taxi disease where a
driver believes and trys to convince
others that he’s made £260 when he’s
only made£140

Battersy dogs home= (to have more
collars than) Snelly

Christmas crackerd= to be tired of
listening to brains’s jokes
over the festive period

Costa del contraband= a popular holiday
destination of many a taxi e.g.”one five
what was you’re weekend in Spain like?”
“sound as. 50 sleeves Friday 45 Saturday
and then 60 on Sunday”

Dinophobia= the fear of Frank Higgnetts
tiny little arms

Dixie’s= a horse drawn carriage firm
that was set up by Oliver Cromwell
during the English civil war. This is an
extract taken from a speech by Sir Lord
Jacob Astley at the battle of Marston Moor
“My lord how busy i must be this day.
If i forget thee doth not
forget me as i beg for you to remember
the time old Doyle’y rang Pete Price”

Duded= to be stuck in the garage
for hours upon end listening to bad jokes.
also look under Threetwo’ed and Threefour’ed

Eggy Oakley= Sabre’s fastest on the on the
mike so beware of the egg. Weather its £2.50p
or £25 if he’s in the rest starve!

Eggtastic Night= to make a thousand pound
more than any other driver in a nights work

Fellaphobia= the fear of three ‘o’.
e.g. Anyone rubs me up the snizzle there
fella an i’ll get my one seven seven fourteen
loader an pop em’ of like this ping ping para
chchchchch ping.

Goonerland= this is a land inhabited by complete
nonsense, where lily savage isnt a man and you’re
relatives yo bone you’re women.

Goonerfriends= these are fictional characters that
don’t really exist, but if they did would be very
useful and good to know. Their occupations are

Alfie Roofleek
Billy Businessaddress
Davey Antifreeze
Joey Puncherrepairkitforakidsbmx
(i think he’s from easten Europe)
Frankie Blockeddrain
Harry Carinsurance
Jimmy Greattrainrobber
Tony Decode
Paddy Facupfinaltickets

Humbermiliated= to be caught fornicating with
none human creatures

Hp,fx289hovis(with super woofers)= this is
either one of two things. A bottle of sauce,
a channel on cable, a loaf of bread and a name
children give to big dogs. Or the fastest thing
Ricky Wowser has ever driven

Howey’s stag do= to be bored shitless
e.g.27 to charlie10 “whats up with you
had a shit night or have your just been
to howey’s stag do?”

Jeff’s Villas= a fictional accommodation on
a fictional holiday resort. Unless that is you
prefare to travel via bullshit air Ltd

Kirkbyish= a bit of bobby mingo that
can only be understood in the to arse
shevy park there fella

Lollystick Laughter= to be amused by brains’s
bad jokes

Mrs stretch’s Menu= the chippy

Mark McCann Mirror= shows the reflection
of a sexy hunky womanising ladykiller who
also happens to be the hardest man on earth.
When standing in front is a baldy ginger
homosexual who couldn’t get a bird to
look at him if his best mate was Bill
fucking Oddie

Never Ending Story= this can be heard
in the loud belowings of charlie 10 or the
silent whispers of metro 5 e.g.”there was a lady
about mid fourty’s 5’6 in height who said “can
you take me to knowsley road post office
please” while she was standing by the priory
“so i took her there and she paid me” (wait
for the tumbleweed)

Nethertonians= People who prefare to
travel by rodent express

Old Doyley’d= to by stuck in the office
hearing about a time when Pete Price
received a very instresting and humours
phone call. If youv’e not heard this before
ask Phil the phone lad He’ll be more than happy
to tell you

Peadoscopes= Twonines glasses

Reality Pills= taked twice daily these will
eleviate the notion of owning villas in Greece
or taking home £260 on a Saturday night.
They are said to stop you from getting light
headed when traveling on bullshit air and
proven to be a great cure for alphaninism

Rodentsville= an area of the city more commonly
known as the marian square

Saturdaynight Fever= the fear of being strangled
at 4am Sunday morning when Phil is in the back
tell people about the time old Doyley rang Pete Price

Sabrerist= The hatred of those who once laughed
at us but then came crawling for sets when their
Scottish based enterprise went tits up

Square Cut= the homosexual hair cut adopted by
navel officers and also the rodent type activity which
has led to the dissapperance of work around the netherton

Two Seven Six Eight(2768)= this is both the combined
number of important triangle members and the trouser
size Ethel Austin staff have to look for when stretch is
shopping for his Sunday best

Vince Charming= to have the sophistication of
six two

Wowser= the term used by you’re uncle if he
sees you naked in the shower whilst he’s dressed
up like you’re ex girlfriends mum( latch on uncle


Phill’d Inn = to be updated on all the usuall crap
usually ends with “keep that under your hat”

Kendall Castle………

This is our office in the daytime,Mike does things to make the place more homely,an English mans home is his castle,king of the daymen?there ye go.

February 21, 2005, 1:51 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

You might find this hard to believe but its true,Elton blows a yellow one(this usually means your being attacked,and you need quick attention) says a white volvo rammed him behind deltas office,(i take this means “the bypass” and not the car park, anyway, drivers are flying around that area,the police are informed and are setting a roadblock in formby,Metro’s finest operator was going ape shit trying to talk to him,thinking he wasn’t alright,then the clown says “tell the lads to forget about that, my passengers want to carry on” …………………..How bad’s that?………
Get a grip lad…………….
And there’s more.
to be updated?

Just a bit of arse end damage?
February 20, 2005, 10:43 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Just a bit of arse end damage?

At least his lights are working?
February 20, 2005, 10:40 pm
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At least his lights are working?

Eltons cab
February 20, 2005, 10:37 pm
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Eltons cab

I got asked to publish this but it’s a bit harsh t…
February 18, 2005, 9:25 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I got asked to publish this but it’s a bit harsh to name and shame the tightarse’s.