Filed under: movie
While talking to the lads about this film,we all agreed that this film isn’t the type you’d watch a jarg copy of,another lad said “with boss special affects like that,you have to go to the cinema to appreciate it” then another pointed out “this film has nothing to do with women,it’s a mans film” but if a group of guys went to the cinema and all sat together with their coke and popcorn,wouldn’t it look a bit gay?so….how do we get to watch it?
Filed under: Taxi
Is this this the saddest man on earth?He is a Hackney Carriage Officer who on his night off,goes into bootle,takes his mrs to the Golden Castle opposite the yates’s rank and takes photos of taxi drivers getting out their cab to stretch their legs……………many thanx to Julian and Dave for the pix!
Filed under: Good News
I finally got paid out by the insurance and my cars been returned to its former glory,i couldn’t stop staring at it,i love it again!(that doesn’t sound healthy does it?) lucky there was an independent witness walking past at the time?
Also got our summer hols booked and were off to sunny Majorca on an all inclusive for a week…..thats in a fortnights time,so I’m looking at putting on some weight and drinking a ridiculous amount of beer (does that make me a bad person?)
Filed under: T.V.
I loved series 1,Dexter is my hero and i looked forward to every episode,then series two has been leaked,the first 2 episodes are available for download,something happened to Dex in S1 that spooked him out,leaving him unable to kill,so when he has his next victim i was saying to myself”do it Dex,kill the fu**er,you know it’ll make you feel better lol.”
Filed under: Uncategorized
Sitting in me cab one day. Gooner comes to see me. Do you want a 01 plate Laguna £20.00 per week. Nar mate, mine will do me another year I said. Nar get one of these there sounds a week later oh gone on then. Gets back too me I have got you 1 1900 Synamique Metallic Blue just got a scratch on door its back in body shop getting done. So I scrapped my R registration Laguna (bad mistake). Week later still no car, Gooner says he fucked me about he got you another car. Another week or two no car, now he got me another car but it got sensor problems week later they found the problem. Second hand brain on it that cannot be fixed, so he goes to Malvern’s, Derby Road, he got me one, sound. Goners sorting finance for me. Now he says car not worth it, wants me to pay 4½ years for it. Now he is lending me the money to get one so we go to have a look at one in Barmouth Way, car no good so then he takes me too Haydock Auctions but it shut. Then he says I can have his one he is buying a Golf. Gets his Golf but still no car for me. Then the night I am meant to get his,his bird’s brother been in a car crash in Wales so she needs the car because he cannot get insured in Golf just yet. Then he splits from his bird so he needs his car. So I tell him too forget it and you can pay £200. car insurance as I kept mine going for nearly three months. So he rings me and says he has got me a W registration Laguna it’s booked in for a MOT the next day. So on the way back from footy I say to him, go to Worcester garage,I will meet you there no he says go to yours, the car failed so me and John goes there anyway, low and behold no car their,The lads haven’t MOT a Laguna. Then he sees me on rank and says car passed the MOT I will get it taxed tomorrow. Next day no tax so he sends his sister Chester to do it because it’s on disability. Next day its taxed but the water pumps gone, when he drove it out of garage. So it’s in garage getting done. I have it tonight he says.
This not too mention every car he got me he says it’s on its way too yours or it will be ready next day. So three months later I have got no car and I am £200 out of pocket. All because I give him the benefit of doubt because he got me my Laguna and we should of gone to Warrington too pickup one up as well before he said I could have his.
I got this story of Alan,Friday,Saturday I get a text message saying Gaz don’t put an ending on this story,its still going on.
Sat,hear we go,the hose is split and theirs a worn bolt,sorting it today and it’s deffo going to need a valet,but goners looking after Al so he’s got him a set of matt’s….
Sat p.m.the guys done the car,hose and bolt,he’s just got to pick his mrs up now and and run the car round to to make sure theirs no air locks and the temp’s ok.
Sunday,15 th July,the guy who’s got the car has been called out on a breakdown?
To be updated lol
Monday,16 th July,the guy should have dropped the car off last night as he’s already been paid for the work?
to be updated
Filed under: FUNNY
In all walks of life we all meet Del Boy Trotter type’s someone who can always get you things half price,well one of the lads on the cabs likes to think he’s like this but unfortunately he doesn’t turn up with the goods,this first example was when young Sellgroves good lady was heavily pregnant about 18 months ago,Gooner says to him” if you want any baby stuff,let me know,I’ve a mate who works in Next and he can half inch stuff and sell you it at 1/4 of the price” Snellgrove’s eyes light up,”we love that shop,we’ve got the catalogue in our house”. So Gooner tells him “great,pick what you want,write the list down,I’ll give it to my mate and the stuffs yours for 1/4 of the shop price,what my mate will do is pinch the stuff a bit as a time and when your ready,give me a shout,i’ll bring the stuff round and you can pay me” .This all sounds fine and dandy but it never went as planned much to the disappointment of the Snellgrove family,when his good lady was nearly due ,he phoned Gonner and said”tell your mate I’m ready for the stuff and I’ve got the money waiting for him.Excuse No.1:”Er,your stuff got mixed up with someone else’s. Phoned him the next day.Excuse No.2:”theirs a rip in the mattress,so Snell tell him “that doesn’t matter,I’ll buy a new one”Next day.Excuse No.3:”The lad feels bad about letting you down so he only wants 50 quid now”.Next day.Excuse No.4:”Yer just give us till tomorrow,50 quid and he’s throwing in 10 outfits for messing you around”.Next day.Excuse No5.”I’ll get back to you when i can,my aunties died”.2 weeks later.Excuse No.6:”The stuffs in my Mum’s and she’s gone on holiday”.2 weeks later.Excuse No.7:”I’ve just booked a 2 week holiday off the teletext,see you soon”.2 weeks later.Excuse No.8:”My Mum’s been held hostage at Tesco’s”.Excuse No.9:Mum’s house got broken into.10.Mum’s moved house took stuff with her.11doesn’t know where she lives.12.Its in the back of his van.13.vans broken down against a wall.14.cant be towed needs skates.15.brake drums split needs a crane.16.he’s more gutted than Snell,he’s got a 13000 pound tool box in it.17.It now needs to go on skates,not a crane.18.his dads mates got the stuff.19.drove to his Mum’s and the van wasn’t their?20.said he couldn’t take time off work coz he needed the money badly.
At this point Snell was pissed off big time and told the gooner to pick him up,put his meter on and he would pay him for the journey to get the stuff so he wouldn’t be out of pocket,so Gooner picks him up,went to a house in Aylward Place,walked to the open door,where a young woman appeared and he said “Shirley,is my dad in?” “no” “ok then” and walked away, a woman over the road shouted to Shirley “Michelle,who’s that baldy fella in that taxi who’s just walked up your path” Shirley who’s real name was obviously Michelle replied “I’ve no idea,said he was looking for his dad,Snell and Gooner looked at each-other for a few moments with their mouths open,he then dropped Snell home ,at this moment Snell told him that he needed to talk to someone?